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Stubborn and competitive. A man of stature and quality. I have known pain, discouragement and fear and out of this came special dignity of a person who has seen a lot and...

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Hi Sis Noe, how can we improve our sex life

2 years ago | 34849 Views
Hi Sis Noe

I have just been married but my sex life is not good. My husband comes quickly and leaves me unsatisfied. How can I improve our sex life? - Unsatisfied.

Reply

Practice makes perfect so the more you keep trying the better things are bound to fit into place. Whatever you do though do not say to your husband that he is not very good or that it is his fault. Nothing kills passion better than a bruised male ego. Try a few gentle hints and directions to what you like and things are bound to start clicking between you.

Hi Sis Noe

I am sleeping with a workmate who is a player who has had sex with a number of girls at work. I know he doesn't love me but I cannot help it, the sex is good. I am beginning to fall in love with him. Do you think things will work out for me? - Uncertain.

Reply

You will probably be a statistic on his scoreboard when he tires of you. You said it yourself - he is a player and sleeps around. He doesn't love you, you are just a sex object and the sooner he discovers a new sex toy you will be history. If you are looking for a relationship, from what you have told me it looks like you have picked the wrong man. You say he sleeps around and is a player, why would you want to be with someone like that? Stop sleeping with him before you get more involved and end up being hurt. Find a man who wants more than just sex.

Hi Sis Noe

My husband and I have been having sex for the past year. Never used protection but I can't seem too fall pregnant. What is wrong? - Worried.

Reply

Falling pregnant can take time, on average, 20 percent of all couples trying to get pregnant will not conceive in the first year of trying. So be patient and keep trying. You are most fertile when you are ovulating, about 14 days before your period. If you can predict the date of ovulation, it is wise to abstain from intercourse for a few days beforehand to allow your partner's sperm count to be high when you are most fertile.

Hi Sis Noe

Whenever I am about to orgasm I fart and that takes away the excitement in the sex and my husband gets turned off. I don't know what is wrong with me, please help? - Worried.

Reply

I can understand why this must be really embarrassing to you. However, it is actually more common than you may think. When you orgasm your whole body relaxes and this can also mean that you lose control of the muscles in your bottom and your bowels. Although not everyone may suffer from your problem, everyone will experience the feeling of complete relaxation. The reason you fart may be due to the fact that you have a lot of excess gas waiting to escape. This could be related to your diet. Eating a lot of vegetables, bread and even drinking alcohol can mean you have more flatulence. It can also be a sign of a condition such as Irritable Bowel Syndrome - the symptoms of which can be treated with medication or a specially devised diet. I suggest you talk to your doctor about this. You will feel so much more relaxed once you know what is going on and have learnt how to control it.

Hi Sis Noe

I am having an affair with my husband's best friend. He is married too but gets no sex or affection from his wife at all. We think we are in love but also don't want to leave our partners as that would cause a scandal. What should we do? - Double timer.

Reply

Quite frankly, it's time to make a decision. Stop being so selfish, it seems to me like you want it both ways but I am sorry it's time to wake up and take responsibility for what you are doing. Although you may both be happy in your affair you have to also consider the other people this affects. It's not fair to keep your families in the dark about what is going on. You say you think you are in love but you don't want to leave your current partner - but I am afraid you can't have it both ways. You need to decide if it's just the excitement of an affair that you enjoy or whether you are genuinely in love with this man.

You also need to be sure that you know how he feels too. He could simply be interested in an extramarital fun and - like most cheats - have no intention of ever leaving his wife. I think you have a lot to think about before you make any decisions but don't forget while you are doing your thinking that you are also deceiving your husband, so sort your head out quick.

An affair can totally destroy a family so you need to think very carefully before you leave it all behind. I know you can't help who you fall in love with so if it is the real thing then you can't just stay with your current partner just for the sake of keeping the peace. I say you should try and spend some time away from both of these men and work out what you want. It's a massive decision so be honest with yourself. If you do decide that your husband is not the man for you then you need to be honest and tell him as soon as you can - because it will be a whole lot worse if he finds out for himself.

Hi Sis Noe

My boyfriend impregnated a girl and left me for her two years ago. Now he is apologising and tells me he wants me back. What must I do? - Confused.

Reply

You are considering taking back a man who cheated on you and left you for another woman? And even worse, this man is now abandoning his baby mama to get back with you? So, as much as you may loathe this woman, what happens to her and their baby? And if he is planning on taking an active father role, are you happy that he has a baby with another woman, and you will be relegated to the sidelines to watch them play happy families? Will he want to have another baby with you straight away, or will his attentions all be on his firstborn - a firstborn he has with another woman? There is a lot more to consider here than I think you have thought of. Be careful, you are setting yourself up for another fall.

Hi Sis Noe

I cheated on my boyfriend at a party but it was not intentional. I was drunk; I didn't have sex with the guy, we just kissed. The problem is that when I confessed to him he told me that he cheated on me three months ago. Can we move on from this? - Worried.

Reply

What you did and what he did are completely different things. He has lied to you for three months about being faithful to you, and all the while he has cheated with someone. You were upfront and honest and admitted straightaway your wrongdoing. He should have given you the same respect and told you straightaway. Don't let this ruin your relationship - tell him though from now on you expect 100 percent honesty from him, even if he knows you are not going to like what he tells you, because everyone deserves not to be kept in the dark.

Hi Sis Noe

I am a 23-year-old man and I am dating a 54-year-old woman who I do love. I do wish to marry this woman but is the age difference between us going to be a problem? - Worried.

Reply

Although you love this woman, does highlighting the age gap as a potential problem suggest that deep down; you might consider it a problem - not now but maybe in the future? You wouldn't be unusual in thinking that, fastforward 20 years, you will still be in your prime but your wife will be old, I mean old. You are not talking about a 10-year gap. Thirty-one years is quite significant.

When you look at spending your life with her, you probably reassure yourself with reasons such as having similar values and interests counting for more than anything else. Or maybe that her personality and success are more important than her age and that the most important thing is that you have the same take on life?

An older woman can offer advantages such as being appreciative, discreet, and having fewer tantrums, and at 54 she could already be safely through menopause! But beyond the age gap, is there a gap in compromises you would have to make? Are you happy to not have children with her? Issues about her getting weak or needing you to care for her are irrelevant really, because you could have a young wife who falls ill, and an old wife who is the life and soul of the party at 70. What could be a problem for you is purely down to what you want from life.

Hi Sis Noe

I have a disabled partner who is in a wheelchair. I met him when he was in the chair but never understood the whole situation. He has no feelings from the waist down - this causes real problems in the bedroom which means we hardly ever have sex. I love him but I am losing out on sex. What can I do? - Starved.

Reply

You came into this situation with your eyes open as you met your partner when he was in the wheelchair. Perhaps you made a mistake not discussing it with him fully at the beginning of the relationship but if you want to understand it more you must speak to him now before the stress ruins your relationship. If sex is not an option perhaps you could concentrate more on foreplay to keep some sort of sex life alive in the relationship. The only way to solve this situation is through communication. You need to talk to your partner and discuss your concerns so that you can move forward in the relationship. Sex is not the be all and end all; surely your relationship is more than that. Since he has no sensation in the lower half of his body, I am assuming it is more of an issue for you than him. If your sex life is the only thing troubling you and your partner is not worried about it you may have to weigh up what you want more, sex or your partner. Bear in mind though, there are other things you can do though besides intercourse.

Hi Sis Noe

I am a 22-year-old female who has never had a boyfriend. As I get older I get more and more anxious about remaining single. I have been told in many times that I am not pretty enough to get a boyfriend but surely this cannot be the only reason? - Help.

Reply

In my opinion you are better off staying single than settling for someone who is not the right man for you. There is no stigma attached to being single. In my opinion it is worse to just be with the first man you come across because you want a man. Enjoy your freedom while you have it. You are still young and have plenty of time to meet a man. I assure you, you are not going to end up an old spinster. These men who tell you that you are not pretty enough are hollow headed so forget about them. Surely you would not want to be with someone so shallow. Any man who could be hurtful enough to say you are not pretty is not the sort of man you want to be with so stay clear of them. Having a boyfriend is not the be all and end all but someone will come along eventually you just have to be patient. In my opinion you find someone when you least expect it so stop looking for a man and let him find you. Men can smell desperation a mile off and it is not attractive so stop acting like you are searching for love and it will find you.
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Anonymous user 2 years
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Anonymous user 5 months
hi , sis noe i am a form 2 student i am still going to skool but i got pregnant in grade 7 and i had a miss carriage now think it is time for me to get married to my childs father
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