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Stubborn and competitive. A man of stature and quality. I have known pain, discouragement and fear and out of this came special dignity of a person who has seen a lot and...

South Africa
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'Should gay people adopt kids?'

11 years ago | 18658 Views

by Hügo Krüger
Let me first give my position with regards to gay men and woman on society. I have a problem with homosexuals advocating to be classified as a special gender - you're not that special really. I have a problem with them wanting a "gay affirmative action". I am not going to walk with my hand on the bladder with every single gay man or woman either. I treat them as any normal human being and judge them on their character not their sexual orientation, this is how I would like to be treated.


I am against any form of forced integration and forced segregation in our society. I believe in absolute freedom of choice, if there are people with deeply rooted cultural prejudices, then let them have it - since it is a waste of time trying to change them, for as long as they do not infringe on the dignity of anyone else while they are at it. It is a two-way sword; if they want their choice to be protected then so should those who choose to be gay, those who become gay or those who are born gay.

So on Facebook someone asked two questions that our society has struggled with for quite some time. 1. Should gay people be allowed to marry? and 2. Should gay people adopt children?

Now this first one is a very interesting debate, mainly because, how do you define marriage? Do we quite frankly even need legislation to say what marriage is and what it is not? Let me ask this question, a couple who has lived together for seven years, never plans on getting married, but plans on staying together for the rest of their lives. Is this "marriage"? Arguably I can say it is the exact same thing.

Quite frankly marriage nowadays is very difficult to define. Just look at our president for an example of a very complicated marriage. In principle I have no problem if he has seven wives, however I have a problem with the taxpayers paying for all his children, him using the barrier of culture to hide behind it in order to avoid all criticism and naturally the fact that it isn't doing the HIV and Aids debate of the country any good.

Back to the gay debate, however. Firstly I do not believe that our country should even have legislation in place to define marriage, sure a few lawyers will go out of business, but if a couple wants to get married the traditional way, go through the conventional ceremonial way, why should the law also be there?

If two homosexuals lives together and call it whatever they want to, then how am I really going to know whether it is marriage or not? Furthermore what does it matter if I have a prejudice against them, it's not really going to stop them from living together and to add to that, how they spend their private affairs is absolutely none of my business.

The second point is a tough one: May gays adopt children or not? Well the first argument to my mind is what makes a good parent? To me it requires a community to raise a child. My mother for example would never have been able to raise me without the help of the schools, the neighbours, the churches and the what not, all of these structures played an integral part in the Afrikaner culture that I came from and I'm sure in other cultures it has been no different. Obviously she and my father contributed a hell of a lot on their own by simply doing what parents should do - being there for their children.

However this is the part where I struggle a bit, can two homosexual men or woman fill the role of a mother and father in society? Well the first counterargument would be single moms and dads that manage to raise their children, a lot of people grow up this way and turn out just fine, this obviously isn't easy for the single parent, but it is achievable? I'm still not one 100% clear on this matter.

You also do find heterosexual couples that abuse their children and many parents who shouldn't even be parents. I'm sure that I will be able to find a better candidate for providing to a child in the gay community. It is not as if we are living in the 1950s anymore. I would most definitely prefer being raised by a gay couple than by a couple who abuses their children or who abuses alcohol. Also I don't believe a child will turn out gay in those areas, maybe he might be a bit bullied at school, but children are bullied for other differences as well. Bullying isn't really a good argument in this regard.

My conclusion on the second point is that I am unsure; I do concede that gays are normal people living in our society. Their rights are protected by our constitution; their sexuality has absolutely no influence on my life whatsoever. However, this is where I am stuck, can they become good parents?

To my mind if I really had to choose, I would give them the go ahead on adopting children as we already have so many children without a proper home in South Africa. I am also convinced that the overwhelming majority of them will try and provide as much as possible for that child.


I would like to hear your views on this matter.

7 Taliyana
Tags: Gays


Comment as Anonymous Submit
Taliyana 11 years
God created Adam and Even not Adam and Steve, kanti ma befuna abantwana why bengabazali??
iNdabaNdaba 11 years
Yes gay or no gay if you want to adopt its fine, I think
Malema 11 years
Bayahlanya laba zi sh*t zabantu
Anonymous user 11 years
Asifuni lokho fullstop. And as for adopting, that's nonsense. Have your own kids the normal way by being straight. we don't want our kids raised by people who will teach them to be gay. Zim is not Sodom and Gomorrah please!
Anonymous user 10 years
They should not be allowed to adopt any kids, their union cannot produce kids. Why should someone bear the burden of bearing children for them? Secondly what type of a family is that where you have a woman as a mother and another woman as a father. Let them stay alone and not spoil the kids, let them choose a life for themselves.
Anonymous user 9 years
there's a reason why two gay people can't make a child......don't you think?
Anonymous user 9 years
Why should it matter if gay or lesbian people adopt children? Not everyone who decides to adopt children are Christians. There also Pagans, atheists, and Buddhists. And, according to statistics, a higher percentage of homosexuals who adopt are Christians.
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